If I have no doubts about my vocation, why do I doubt the daily details?
I know I am meant to be married to my husband and the mother of our children. Both things were prayed mightily for. I completely trust that the path I am on is the correct one. Undoubtedly, 100%.
And yet so often I find myself frustrated and over-tired with my day to day life. As a friend said to me on the phone yesterday after overhearing the um-teenth whiny request from one of the boys, "That's why we have all these degrees right?"
Some days are just exhausting and defeating. And so one might begin to wonder......Is this what I am supposed to be doing with my life? Is this all there is? Shouldn't I be saving the world? Feeding the poor? Something other than wiping another bottom?????
As I was walking this morning, I had the thought I began this post with. I completely know that I am meant to be in this marriage, with these kids. So why should I expect that because the path is right, the way will be easy? I am sure many people, wayyyy holier than I have felt frustration and difficulty in living out their vocation. Knowing there is a challenge ahead does not mean I need to jump ship and change course. It means I need to learn to practice patience, sacrifice, and persistence. I need to trust.
And maybe this is clear to so many other mothers, but for me, it was a new way to look at my days.
2 comments:
I think we might be sharing a brain. ;) I have many of the same thoughts. Knowing that this is what God wants me to do does not make it easy, at least not all of the time. I often find myself thinking I will try again tomorrow. Thankfully ours is a God who is patient and forgiving and will wait for us.
Thanks for your comment. I completely agree with your sentiment about God being patient and forgiving!!
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