Continuing on the theme

Going on about my earlier post about how often bloggers post....

Do your friends and family read your blog? I began my blog as place to journal and process my thoughts and as Michelle said, "talk a little less to myself." Cheap therapy, y' know? So it wasn't really designed as a "Hey come read about my kids" place. Although I don't think I'd have a problem with those who know me reading the blog. Just not sure how to announce, "Hey! I have a blog. I write random dabblings about my life for all the world to see."

Plus there's the freedom to really express myself online, to enter into religious discourse without worrying about what someone who knows me might think. Or even just to rant and rave about trivial stuff that is really petty :-) . So as much as I would like friends and family to read about what is going on with our family (especially since with our frequent moves we aren't around family much), I'm not sure I feel comfortable with "putting it all out there" for people who know me to read.

Odd I guess, but I think its easier to be vulnerable and open with people who don't really know you than with those who you deal with on a daily basis. Or even with those who knew you from a previous life (college, high school etc.)

I trust those who know me to love me no matter what I post. But do I trust myself to be really myself all the time? To be me through and through online and off? I don't do vulnerable real well.

And really as I go back and re-read all of this, it seems awfully self-absorbed. Maybe its my mid thirties crisis playing out right in front of your very eyes :-)

I think in the end, it comes down to my thoughts on faith. I wouldn't normally go around talking about God and the blessings I see and my reliance on Him. But in my blog, I feel perfectly fine to write about such things. In fact I've learned so much about my faith from reading other blogs, I wanted a place to share and reflect too.

So I'm not sure why I don't talk more about my faith. Maybe I should. I think I've always felt more comfy living my faith rather than proclaiming it with words. Chicken maybe? Afraid of being "too Catholic"? Who knows. But I'm learning to go with it. And that I shouldn't have too much caffeine before bed, because it makes me ramble.

It just all goes back to the Indigo girls, "its a thin line between pleasing yourself and pleasing somebody else." At least when this song came on my iPod while I was writing this post, it certainly seemed to make sense.